The deception of an Innocent Papa – Emotional Masturbation Part 2
As I woke up this morning and went to my terrace after a very long time before sunrise, I noticed that everything was still, Peaceful, No motion, No one to disturb.
I noticed something else. There was a balance; a balance which felt so uncommon. Like everything within you moving towards a single direction.
Every part of my human psyche moved in pursuit of a single goal: >to do nothing that morning. Just stand out there and do nothing; nothing at all.
Wait a Minute. That was kind of lame. I went to the terrace for a different reason. I wanted to practice my Nunchaku, which I gladly ignored once I got there.
I have been finding this cycle within me again and again. One part of my personality would want something, and when the time for the situation occurs, another personality would take over and want something else.
Have you ever sincerely planned on waking up early morning to do something, only to find that you didn’t want to wake up at all when the alarm sounded? One portion of your personality which wanted the work done was dominant while you were planning. But when you were about to wake up, the lazy guy was dominant. Both of them were sincere in carrying out their duties, but their duties were simply against each other.
Equipped with this knowledge I was able to identify this cycle in a lot of areas.
For example, one part of you becomes highly inspired after seeing a movie. But as days progress, that part of your mind is pulled down and dominated over by concurrent problems and daily life shit. The inspiration dilutes itself over time, and eventually, you forget that you have forgotten about it. Hmm. That’s interesting. It’s not that we forget; that’s not the issue, rather the issue is that we forget that we have forgotten it. In simple terms, the mind loses poise. May be the mind didn’t have a poise to begin with while assessing what it likes and what it dislikes. Without Poise it roams around the place finding objects to like and dislike, like an empty vessel filling things into it, and throwing it out as other things in turn fill it.
The absence of poise completely disregards and violates words like Love, passion etc. Let’s take Love for example; without poise in mind, we would simply love when our personalities wanted it and get indifferent over a period of time. But that doesn’t mean Poise prevents transfer of love. But in aspects like listening to a song, there is no transfer is there? You can always have two favourite songs. I wish I can have two favourite women :P Kidding :D
I would also want to state that there is a difference between what am saying here from what can be termed; seeking Novelty. I will leave Novelty to you to think of. I don’t want to write anymore, am feeling sleepy.
Now now, Am not an asshole that says that that the mind never jumps like a monkey either. Good Night ;)